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Poetry by EloraDust

Writing by gurukiki

epic poems and stories of epic epicness by MaDdHatTer4850


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Submitted on
January 28, 2009
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1.6 KB
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53

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Creative Commons License
Some rights reserved. This work is licensed under a
Creative Commons Attribution-Noncommercial-No Derivative Works 3.0 License.
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"You can't go back," she said
chuckling a bit as I pushed past her.

I didn't understand.

No, it didn't make
much sense to me at all
and the green light
on the other side of the lake
seemed to creep closer
but somewhere deep down
perhaps in the murky waters below
perhaps somewhere inside my mind
or my heart or my soul
it had fallen
and I knew.

"You can't go back!" he called out
and the voice echoed for a while.

Of course I could.

Oh, I could
if I could only stay
in the saddle
on the beast
as it galloped to the top of the mountain
but somewhere below me
perhaps on the ground rushing past
perhaps from my hands clenched so tight
or my lips or my tongue
it had fallen
and I knew.

"I can't go back," I realized
and it seemed so obvious.

I have lost so much.

So, so much
and I could see it all
from the top of the ferris wheel
spread out in every direction
as it was speeding around
but somewhere down there
perhaps in the crowd looking up
perhaps having slipped from my hands
or my pockets like loose change
it had fallen
and I knew...

I knew
that the boat was drifting nowhere
that there was no top to that mountain
that I was really only riding the machine
around and around and around
after all.
...
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Daily Deviation

Given 2011-09-12
Can't Go Back by ~coolcrowe uses rhythm and repetition to create a mood, circling and circling back again. ( Featured by nycterent )
:iconmzcleobabii:
MzCleoBabii Featured By Owner Jan 30, 2012  Hobbyist General Artist
I just remembered this today and HAD to look it up. It still gives me chills :) The mood it creates is very.....haunting. I love it.
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:iconeloradust:
EloraDust Featured By Owner Sep 14, 2011
beautiful and sad...
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:icondeviantdarkness101:
deviantdarkness101 Featured By Owner Sep 14, 2011
Ahh, the feelings this provokes lingers very strongly. A poem once read that can't be forgotten.
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:iconucpoika:
UCPoika Featured By Owner Sep 13, 2011
It was--well, an experience--like a dream or something to me. Maybe a little too cool in places though. :toocool:
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:iconayu-dev:
Ayu-Dev Featured By Owner Sep 12, 2011  Hobbyist General Artist
Wow... beautiful
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:iconluvsgirls:
luvsgirls Featured By Owner Sep 12, 2011
i like it
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:iconluvsgirls:
luvsgirls Featured By Owner Sep 12, 2011
i like it
Reply
:iconsilenceisseductive:
SilenceisSeductive Featured By Owner Sep 12, 2011  Hobbyist Writer
omg, i love this poem

it really grabs you from the core and it's still haunting you, echoing in your mind even after you've read it

and yes, i agree with everyone else that the transitions from word to word, from line to line in this poem is unfathomably flawless

i also love how this isn't your typical, cheesy, wince-inducing poem...it gets you thinking....very deep

i need to give this poem a few more whacks and to read it a bit more to fully soak it in

once again....LOVE. IT. ...BEAUTIFUL
Reply
:iconcoolcrowe:
coolcrowe Featured By Owner Sep 13, 2011
Thank you!
Reply
:iconlisusha:
lisusha Featured By Owner Sep 12, 2011  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
love it<3
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